You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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