Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
