planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
