I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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