I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My dick has a subreddit
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
