Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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