it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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