We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
