Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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