he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
