i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
