have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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