i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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