I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
splinters make it hard to masturbate
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Never underestimate the power of titties
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize