Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
