We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
