I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
