ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
