Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
