Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
