we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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