PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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