i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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