do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
