Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize