And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
