Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
