Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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