I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
