good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
