so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Randomize
