...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I could fuck to npr.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
