the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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