Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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