a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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