Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
