I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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