Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
