THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
