you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
