you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
