hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
