Your tits are I can't wait for
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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