either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize