He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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