wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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