maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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