You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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