he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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