genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
