I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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