I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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