im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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