Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
