dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
