dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize