We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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