She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
