I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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