I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
