That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
be right there i have to get my cape
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
