every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
