shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Randomize
