how can u be prego again
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
