Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
