reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
