How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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