I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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