Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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