can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
